NonviolentCommunicationAndPatternTheory

There seems to be a considerable conceptual overlap between between NonviolentCommunication and PatternTheory. I would like to show this connection. Maybe this would increase the understanding for NonviolentCommunication and the appreciation of PatternTheory as a more general framework. -- HelmutLeitner

to be elaborated:

life
- quality of life (NVC, PT)
- life as something that is created (NVC)
- life as fundamental process, as a design process (PT)
respect for individual autonomy
- good design results from autonomous decisions by of those involved according to their needs (PT)
- requests instead of demands: people are shown/given choices, decisions are accepted (NVC)
importance of feelings
- as resonance
  - to be connected to people (NVC)
  - to truly evaluate the situation of the individual in its environment (PC)
- as expression of human needs
  - as a means to make objective judgements (PT)
  - avoid the term "judgements" but accept feelings to be genuine and true (NVC)

quite a number of issues can be understood as patterns or anti-patterns.

patterns:
- empathic connection
- observation separated from evaluation
- identify and express feelings
  - vocabulary of feelings
- understand and reveal needs (what makes life more wonderful)
- request not demand
- giving from the heart (based on a feeling for life)
- self-forgiveness (by understanding our needs that we were trying to meet)
anti-patterns:
- unspecific statements
- moralistic judgements (maybe "general moralistic judgements")
- personal comparisons (that create a feeling of inferiority)
- implying absence of choice (denial of responsibility, maybe "no choice no responsibility")

citations:

: "I earnestly believe, however, that an important form of self-compassion is to make choices motivated purely by our desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, duty, or obligation. When we are conscious of the life-enriching purpose behind an action we take, when the sole energy that motivates us is simply to make life wonderful for others and ourselves, then even hard work has an element of play in it." NVC p.136

Discussion

Helmut, thank you for this effort to bridge (until now as it seems) different schools of thought, both devoted to create a more humane environment.