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What sorts of things we see conflicts arise from.
Most conflicts will arise from many sources, and the sources may seem very different from the perspective of different folks related to the conflict.
Typically conflict will arise in one of these areas:
- the content being discussed
- the process used during the discussion
- the social status of the people involved in the discussion.
- the interests of the people involved in the discussion (for example with respect to OffTopic).
- attention capital available at the time
- the emotional state (e.g. tired and late at night not the time to show maximum tolerance).
- other personal issues
Once SourcesOfConflict are identified, conflicts may be avoided or solved through ConflictResolution techniques.
- IncompleteInformation?. This is the number one cause of conflict. Always be informed when you make a hard opinion.
- Alternately, avoid making HardOpinions?.
- CommunicationFallacies. We often say things that are misinterpreted, or we don't listen well, or we don't understand. When noise gets in the channel, we can be lead astray.
- Mismatch of CommunicationAssumptions? (eg. not using appropriate jargon, or using jargon inappropriately)
- communication styles or metaphors - sometimes just the style of delivery provokes conflict
- condescension - eg. taking the role of "teacher" by asking obvious questions designed to prompt thinking implies the intended recipient is a "student", one needing "teaching", and that can rankle those that deem themselves to be peers
- too much, or too little, formality and politeness
- this is the common denominator of all personality typing, such as Wiki:MyerBriggs, Wiki:TheEnneagram and this week's "Which Painter/President/CrackerJack? prize/etc. are you?
- TitForTatOverreaction?. From an example on RatingAsContent, where an undeserved KuroShin rating of "1" is balanced with an equally undeserved rating of "5", just so the average moves back towards the centre.
- HiddenAgenda?. An undisclosed bias or conflict of interest can result in mixed messages, unpredictable responses, and deliberate mistatements designed to weaken, confuse, or obscure the truth.
- TacticalConflict?. While your attention is on fighting this particular bushfire, who's watching the farm? Gotcha! A noisy feint on your left flank, while the bulk of the enemy forces sweep in quietly and lethally from the right.
- DominationConflict? (or LeadershipStruggle?''s). Sometimes, we find ourselves fighting over who is on top of whom in the structure. These conflicts occur between individuals (such as two GodKings?), groups (such as two groups within a community) or even between two communities with similar goals. These kind of conflict is tough to solve because no one wants to be at the bottom, and few accept to share the top. Besides, some at the bottom want to move up, while those at the top want to stay at the top. The conflict may be solved with those at the top being willing to share power, or one of the two parties leaving, or one party may accept being on the bottom.
- ArguingAfterAgreement. Learn when to shut up once you get your way. Don't provoke further conflict needlessly. Usually means there's a conflict or 'issue' about something else.