[Home]FairCriticism

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While CriticismIsFeedback is more concerned about organizations closing their ears to criticism, there is a more important point that should be described. When you criticize someone, do it in the form of feedback. Do not criticize the person, judge them, evaluate them psychologically — avoid SnipingCriticism. Study upon study has shown that it's much more effective to talk about the work itself rather than the worker. Describe the deficiencies in the work done, the outcome, the process. These will lead to constructive improvements in the subject. Couple this with UnconditionalPositiveRegard?, and the subject will be able to internally reorganize himself. However, personal criticism defeats this process and makes it harder for the subject to improve, possibly resulting in worse behaviour as your relationship erodes and his internal psychological structure is undermined. -- SunirShah

I think that's the other side of the coin (of bringing organizations into the online world). One side is how to accept criticism (feedback) — to get most out of it. The other side is how to put criticism (feedback) — to get most out if it.

When making criticism (feedback) more acceptable, sometimes one can even go one step further than going from "worker" to "work". One can describe "the original problems and feelings" one has in the situation. I'll tell a short story about this, told to me by a very experienced Austrian tourist guide while traveling in Scandinavia about how he copes with hotel problems in Italy.

He said (in short): If something isn't working in an Italian hotel, don't fuss. An inexperienced tourist might address the manager about "the shower isn't working" and attack the quality of the hotel, demand another room. But the hotel is full, the mechanic is busy, it may take a few days. [He makes the manager lose face, and he has used his ammunition.] Better, go to the reception and say "I have a problem" [The "I" is important], "I'm coming from the beach and have a date in a few hours. I need a shower, but something isn't working." [You have now created an emphatic situation instead of an abstract quality problem.] "Can you help me?" [No-one is accused. The other one has the chance do you a personal favour.] Typically the problem is solved within the timeframe given… -- HelmutLeitner


A NonviolentCommunication is needed. See also Wiki:EmpoweringDissent.
There are some suggestions on LessWrong?: [Defecting by Accident - A Flaw Common to Analytical People].
CategoryConflict

Discussion

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